It's all about kindness

While in Chico, looking for ways to hand out wellness suppIies, I talked a man who lost his home, his truck, his money in the Camp Fire. He was angry, sad, desperate as you can imagine. Like so many others, he needed more help than he was getting. I listened to his story, to his pain and felt so heartbroken that I had nothing more to give but this little pack of wellness items. He received them and then said "you drove 3 hours to give me this? Wow" He felt no one cared. I wish I could've handed him a check, a car, something big. But all I could give were these items and an ear and a promise for some bodywork once I was set-up. It was a little moment of "I care".
And all the others I ran across in varying degrees of need.
But all I had was this little kit with these little essential oil sprays I made. And time to listen. And a broken heart for the suffering of so many.
Then I realized just finding little ways to say "I care" does matter. It does. Its a tiny little band aid on a huge wound. But it speaks to the heart and that matters. Kindness matters!
Honestly, in times like these kindness is the highest currency.
When I left the area and stopped for gas, a man walks up to me saying he had needed gas to get home down south and could I spare a few bucks? He was hunched over on his hood, I think he was crying. I gave what I could but I know it was a drop in the bucket. Even if it was a show, (which sometimes my skeptic side of me asks, I'm sheepish to admit) then someone who is desperate enough to ask still needs it!
Another couple by the roadside sat beside their broken car with a big sign saying "hoping for a miracle". I talked to them and they told me a story of their daughter disappearing and they left everything to try to find her, finally found her and helped her but now they had nothing---could I please help them with $ towards getting their car fixed?
I didn't have much left after the other guy, I wish I could've handed them their miracle.
I'm not sharing any of this to say, "hey look at what I'm doing", because honestly I didn't do much. Also I really believe we should do good works in secret where we can--that way the ego can't capitalize on it. But sometimes sharing inspires others and helps organize too.
I also share this with you because I want to be transparent with this struggle that I'm sure others out there can relate to.
There is so much suffering, its overwhelming. So many people just shut down I think. I know I do sometimes, just to stay sane. Its important to also look at the good things happening, the ways people are helping each other. That keeps the currency flowing. Kindness matters.
The other night I had a dream where I was trying to put these band aids over a gushing torrent. I was told in the dream that I need to not mix up my scale of effort--if I want to work with the torrent, I have to also be part of that which is powerful enough to respond to it effectively. Yes, I'm working on that!
Meanwhile, I can keep handing our band aids that work on the level of small streams of need. Ok. Little kindnesses matter.
Both matter. Little kindness and big kindness. Big organizing to respond to big needs matter. But little moments of "I care" matter and do add up.
It is all about kindness. And I guess I'm trying to remind myself that right now, because my heart has been so wrenched by it all, over the years of exposure to so much suffering and working in the healing world--and now all these disasters, the trauma of our society and on and on. And I have felt so very very small in being able to respond.
But kindness matters, I won't stop. I can't stop. I am fed when I feed others. I need you, any of you, all of you, I need to feel we are in this together. That is the way we will create a new way. It's time.
The new revolution is the revolution of the heart.