By: Denell Nawrocki, MA
For most of my life I felt like I needed to DO THINGS in order to make things happen in my life. I always seemed to force my way through situations and circumstances, MAKING them happen the way I wanted them to. This always left me feeling depleted and unwell. Even if I was getting what I wanted, it never seemed like enough. My heart was never full, and my mind always wandered to the next thing. 

When I began down the path of self awareness, meditation, and nature connection, I slowly began to realize that I had been doing it all wrong. The Earth creates and produces some of the most INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL and INSPIRATIONAL things known to us, yet she never FORCES it to happen. It simply happens. There is no force in creation. 

I began to think about this understanding in relation to 'getting what I wanted'. If nothing in this world is forced (naturally), then what did that mean for me forcing an outcome? What was I doing in relation to the possibilities of what could be? Was my constricted notion of the intended outcome blocking me from the incredible potentials of WHAT COULD BE? 

I began to change the way I was relating to what I was doing. Where there was once fear and pressure, I replaced with faith, trust and ease. This new way of Being was difficult at first, but as I loosened my grip on the intended outcome of even THIS 'action', I noticed something:

This may seem like a catch 22 but what I have learned is that in order to RECEIVE that which you ASK FOR AND TRULY DESIRE, you must LET IT GO and OPEN YOURSELF UP TO THE POSSIBILITY. There is a non-action associated with the action. It is one of the most difficult things we as modern humans can do (what! NOT be in control?!), but the rewards of LETTING IT ALL GO are tremendous.

I invite you to give this a go, even if just for one day.
In the morning, set some intentions for your day, and then allow the soft voices of your heart and body to guide to through Time to where you need to go.
​You may find that synchronicity and miracles begin to happen. 
​Let go into the flow of life. Forcing it only leads to unnecessary discomfort.

Denell Nawrocki, MA is an Integrative Wellness Coach, Health Educator, Ethnohistorian, and Women's Health Advocate. You can find out more about her and her work at www.generativehealth.org.

​​My capacity to care is loosely based around my capacity to cease judgment.
Although it is nearly impossible to “not judge at all”, I have noticed in me an ability to not listen to the judgmental voices playing in my head and what comes of that when I do.
 
For example, my partner pulled a muscle in his back causing him to partially debilitated and in great pain. He hobbled around the house attempting to help me with the daily chores and cooking. Finally, the physical pain became so great that he needed to stop altogether and take care of himself.
 
All the while my mind went a little something like this:
“Gosh, look at him. If he only worked out a little more and strengthened himself, this would not have happened.”
“Ugh, now I have to do everything around the house because he is hurt!”
“I think he just wants to get out of helping me.”
“He must not be in THAT much pain because he was able to work all day.”
And on, and on, and on….

By: Denell Nawrocki, MA

For me, the answers to those questions vary- and the answer to the last one rather high.

There have been more times in my life than I can count on my fingers and toes where I found myself in a situation where I could have done good or right by someone or something, yet chose not to.

The initial heart-impulse that told me, "Give that woman some money", or "Pick up that litter", or "Smile back at that person", or "Stand up for them", or "Give that person a compliment", became shut down and sequestered by a mind-impulse of fear and self-consciousness.

"Someone else will", or "I'm too busy", or "This is MY money", or "They will think I'm weird" take over, and like a dog with its tail between it's legs, I retreat and change course. 
​
Depending on how deep the heart-impulse went determines how long afterwards I will think about my choice and usually internally lament. ​

Why did I do that?
What didn't I do that?
I could have.
​I should have. 
Why did I stop myself?
What would have happened if I made the other choice?

Were they someone/ was it something that would have caused me harm?
No
Was it taking time away from something crucial?
​Something more important?
No.
​Then why did I stop myself?

It seems to me that in our Western culture, we have become conditioned to fear and violence. It is far more normal and 'safe' for us to live in a perpetual state of fear and disconnection. We have been conditioned to think that open-heart connection and Love for Life and the World is not normal and should be something to fear. 
​This is backwards- and we can change it.

As humans, we have IMMENSE capacity to give Love and to receive Love.
In fact, our heart has a mind of its own!
The heart contains some 40,000 neurons ('brain cells') that can sense. It is a transmitter and receiver of literal heart intelligence. 

When we feel those heart-impulses, it is actually our heart-brain sensing how it can be of service in the situation, essentially filling a vacuum created by negative, low-vibration energy of someone or something in caring need. Nature abhors vacuums, and those heart-impulses are clues as to how to fill it with Love- ultimately  raising the vibration of the situation or experience.

The truth is that we DO all have the capacity to care ALL THE TIME.
We CAN care without it being detrimental to our own lives, and in fact would most likely improve it.

We do have the ability to listen to the heart in every moment, be aware of the low-energy vacuums surrounding us, and do small actions to fill them.

Caring doesn't have to be some grandiose thing, it can be as simple as giving the person who needs $0.50 more for the bus fare, or picking up that paper cup on the ground, or putting a hand on someone's shoulder when they are upset.

​So the next time you feel that soft heart-impulse, I invite you to take a risk and follow it.

By Denell Nawrocki

When I go places by myself, I purposely open my heart and 'magnetize' others to me- those who have  story that needs to be shared and listened to. Those who are holding a dialogue within themselves, and who have not have the opportunity to voice it. Most often, these stories are painful and full of grief. They are the stories that are difficult to speak, and for some, difficult to listen to. 
​
I love hearing the stories. I love witnessing strangers- who are clueless as to why they are opening up to another stranger- find relief in their heart after speaking their story. 

Do in part to my being a female, most individuals that are drawn to me tend to be men, and I do not fault them for that. When they begin talking to me, it usually follows the same pattern of introduction, getting to know you, and first-meeting inquiries that two strangers usually go through upon the first meeting. But what follows is nothing else but extraordinary.

I begin asking questions. Questions about their life, love, dreams and desires. 
​
This usually takes them aback because most people, when meeting for the first time in a public place do not get asked those sorts of questions. But I ask them.
Deeper and deeper the conversation goes as I guide them down the rabbit hole of authentic communication and expression. It is a journey of the heart.

Last night I took myself out to a restaurant and went alone. 
As per usual, a man of around the age of 40 greeted me and asked to sit down next to me. I agreed, knowing full well that he had a story to share- otherwise he would not have crossed the void between us.
Slowly but surely, as our dialogue continued, he began to express his grief for his failing marriage of 20 years. His wife became an alcoholic after getting a job as a wine-pourer in a tasting room, and since then his marriage has been in a decline.
He expressed to me his concern for his two teenage children, and his own happiness.
He expressed how he purposely 'gets back' at his wife with neglect because of how much she is hurting him.
He expressed to me that he comes from a family with an alcoholic father, and that this whole experience is his worst nightmare coming true- the love of his life and mother to his children turned into the type of person he loathed the most.
And I listened. I listened to this man tell me his grief story, and kept eye contact with him for the duration. 
At one moment, he stopped, looked at me, and said, "I don't know why I am telling you all this. I just met you. But I feel so comfortable telling you. I needed someone to talk to."

I met another man who was seated with his friend at the bar- again around the age of 45-50. He came from El Salvador and his friend from Mexico City- both flamboyantly gay and proud of it. I shared a drink with them- they offered- and thus began to unfolding of their stories. 
The man from El Salvador began to recount his life to me- in broken English- and the pain and suffering that he has gone through. Abuse, rape, kidnapping, struggling to survive, disconnection from his family, loneliness, tragedy.
He began to cry. Tears welled up in his eyes as he grabbed my hand, telling me that although he has gone through terrible, terrible things, that he still has Esperanza (hope) and still had faith in God.
He hugged me and thanked me for listening- calling me an Angel.
I thanked him for his vulnerability and his story. He had such a deep story to tell. 

I may never see these people again, and that is ok.
I know their story- what they were holding in their hearts that needed to be released.
I like to believe that by having the hardships in life expressed and witnessed, they move through a person's being and become 'unstuck'.

Perhaps chronic illness is just stuck stories that have never been spoken or heard. 
Perhaps violence is the expression of those stories- they need to come out somehow. 

​Everyone has stories needing to be shared. 
Every single person you see has experiences- good and bad- that have yet to be witnessed and heard. 

Perhaps the next time you are out in town, put down your phone, take out the ear phones, and open your heart to the stories surrounding you.
​Someone may approach you, or begin a conversation. Stay with it. Ask questions. Go deep.
Watch the decompression of a person's heart occur before your very eyes, and hold that sacred space we all crave. 
​
Maybe you are the one that needs to share a story. Maybe that person you speak to is there to hold the space for you.
You never know.